Pool Boy

Dear Pool Boy,

Welcome to a new edition of “Ask Tony”. And today’s question is Tony, do you know how to swim? I know I said this before, but my advice can either be helpful or not at all. Read on with discretion. It’s still not too late to click the back button on your webpage. Okay, back to your question about the pool. I enjoy going there to cool myself off. Recently, the temperature has risen so rapidly that makes it difficult to relax at home without turning on the air conditioner.

When it’s cold, you can always put on more clothes, but when it’s hot, there’s only so much you can take off.

When it’s cold, you can always put on more clothes, but when it’s hot, there’s only so much you can take off. Therefore, the only thing you can do is go to the pool. Andy was surprised that I asked him to the pool since I never ask him to tag along with me to places. I told him that I just wanted to cool off from the summer heat. Then Andy asked if I knew how to swim because he saw me brought out a yellow, cat looking inner tube. I told Andy that I’ll be fine because I brought my partner along. Two little kids on a dolphin inner tube swam near us. Then I came up with this great idea. Maybe I can ride on top of Andy as he swims. He told me to stop coming up with silly ideas like that. When I was about to get into the pool, Andy stopped me for some stretching. Andy told me that stretching could prevent leg cramps while you're swimming. So we did some exercises to loosens our wrists and stretched out our muscles. Since I didn’t want to hurt myself again, I attempted stretching. As I was stretching, I got a cramp from moving muscles that I rarely use.

Cramps are my mortal enemies.

A couple of minutes went by, I placed my foot in the water to test out the temperature. Then I submerged my whole body into the water. It felt so nice and cool that I thought this must be what heaven feels like. I wouldn’t mind spending my whole summer drifting around like this. As I was floating on my inner tube, two little kids appeared beside me. They were making fun of me that I was older and still needed to use an inner tube.  I just agreed with them because it takes less effort to just go with the flow. The little kids completely ignored what I said and continuously shook my inner tube. I told them to stop it as commanding as my voice could muster, but they didn’t listen. Andy appeared and told them not to bully me since I can’t swim. The two little kids apologized to Andy as my partner deflated on me.

My swimming partner that I rely on.

My partner was completely deflated so now I have no other way of enjoying the pool. Then the kids apologized again for ruining my inner tube. Andy reassured them that this kind of stuff happens all the time so they don’t have to worry about it, but it’s good for them to apologize for what they did wrong. Andy asked me what I was going to do now. I told him that I could stand in the pool, or walk around. Suddenly I was feeling really tired so I leaned backward and the next thing I knew I was floating around the pool. Andy was surprised that I can’t swim, yet I was floating. And so smoothly, at that. He figured out that I was floating effortlessly because I don’t have a single ounce of strength in my entire body. The kids were amazed how I floated so well and asked me to teach them. Andy, the two little kids and I were floating around the pool and bumping into other swimmers. It was a relaxing day nevertheless.

  

A couple days later, we saw the same little kids that we met at the pool the other day. They called out to us and told us about the new trend that occurred in swimming class. They said that everyone started to adopt my floating style in their swimming class. Then I thought to myself, maybe I did something I shouldn’t have. I'm worried about the future of competitive swimming. Andy said, “You never know what will catch on these days.”Who knew what I did have such a big impact on those kids? Well, it was fun while it lasted.

It was fun while it lasted.

-Listless Tony