Smart Shopper

Dear Smart Shopper,

What was it that I needed to do today?

I totally forgot that I had another blog to write about today. These blogs are starting to pile up since I haven’t written any lately. Today’s question asks if there was a time where you needed to do something, but totally forgot what you needed to do when you got there. There was this one time where little brother told me to get something for the house. It must be urgent because he usually does all the shopping instead.

What could this be?

I dragged Andy along with me to the supermarket. Andy asked me if I knew what I was supposed to get. I told him that I had no idea in the slightest but I’ll probably figure it out while I’m walking around in the store. When we made it to the supermarket, I went to get a shopping cart and realized something important. Andy thought I remembered what I was supposed to get, but I had another one of my great ideas. I finally figured out why seniors love shopping carts. It’s so much easier to walk around with. Andy told me that was something I didn’t need to worry about for another 50 years or so. After my idea was rejected, Andy asked if it was a food item or not. I still couldn’t recall what I was supposed to get, but I’m sure it wasn’t something frozen. That’s because there’s a strong possibility that it’d melt or go bad because I wouldn’t make it home quick enough, so he knows not to ask for those. Also, I don’t think it is water or rice, either. It’s because I know for sure those aren’t the things he asked me to get because I don’t want to carry something as heavy as that all the way home. Even if that’s what it is, I refuse.

It starts with a “P”.

We were making some progress since we started narrowing down what that item could possibly be. As we were walking down the last aisle, my phone started vibrating. I remembered that I set an alarm to remind me what to buy. Good thinking, me from yesterday. When I checked my phone, all it said was a letter “P”. I guess I ran out of steam while writing the message. I guess I have no choice, but to use that. The one excuse that usually gets me out of trouble “they ran out”. Andy asked why can’t I just tell my little brother that I forgot. So we started looking for other things that start with a “P” like pastrami sandwich and pineapple in a can. Andy told me to think harder and don’t give up. I was too tired to think, so I’ll decide to buy everything that starts with a “P” and isn’t heavy or perishable. So I ended up getting papaya, parmesan cheese, paprika, pak chee, parsley, and pasta. Andy lends me his eco bag to carry the things I bought. As we walked out the store, we saw a pancake food truck. And we knew exactly what the “P” item was at that moment. It must be pancakes since it was the last day the truck was serving it. Then I recalled that my little brother was watching a commercial on pancakes, and I think he said he wanted some. I’m glad I got what he wanted. 

It must be pancakes.

Long story short, it wasn’t pancakes that my brother wanted me to get. It was pipe cleaner instead. So I got in trouble for buying unnecessary stuff, and on top of that, he made a Parmesan cheese pasta with papaya, pak chee, parsley, and paprika in it for dinner. Also, he wanted pancakes from the place he saw on TV, not just any pancakes. Andy sympathized with me since he knew how hard I tried. He said, “Let’s go buy pipe cleaner today after school, okay?”

Mystery solved.

-Listless Tony

Pool Boy

Dear Pool Boy,

Welcome to a new edition of “Ask Tony”. And today’s question is Tony, do you know how to swim? I know I said this before, but my advice can either be helpful or not at all. Read on with discretion. It’s still not too late to click the back button on your webpage. Okay, back to your question about the pool. I enjoy going there to cool myself off. Recently, the temperature has risen so rapidly that makes it difficult to relax at home without turning on the air conditioner.

When it’s cold, you can always put on more clothes, but when it’s hot, there’s only so much you can take off.

When it’s cold, you can always put on more clothes, but when it’s hot, there’s only so much you can take off. Therefore, the only thing you can do is go to the pool. Andy was surprised that I asked him to the pool since I never ask him to tag along with me to places. I told him that I just wanted to cool off from the summer heat. Then Andy asked if I knew how to swim because he saw me brought out a yellow, cat looking inner tube. I told Andy that I’ll be fine because I brought my partner along. Two little kids on a dolphin inner tube swam near us. Then I came up with this great idea. Maybe I can ride on top of Andy as he swims. He told me to stop coming up with silly ideas like that. When I was about to get into the pool, Andy stopped me for some stretching. Andy told me that stretching could prevent leg cramps while you're swimming. So we did some exercises to loosens our wrists and stretched out our muscles. Since I didn’t want to hurt myself again, I attempted stretching. As I was stretching, I got a cramp from moving muscles that I rarely use.

Cramps are my mortal enemies.

A couple of minutes went by, I placed my foot in the water to test out the temperature. Then I submerged my whole body into the water. It felt so nice and cool that I thought this must be what heaven feels like. I wouldn’t mind spending my whole summer drifting around like this. As I was floating on my inner tube, two little kids appeared beside me. They were making fun of me that I was older and still needed to use an inner tube.  I just agreed with them because it takes less effort to just go with the flow. The little kids completely ignored what I said and continuously shook my inner tube. I told them to stop it as commanding as my voice could muster, but they didn’t listen. Andy appeared and told them not to bully me since I can’t swim. The two little kids apologized to Andy as my partner deflated on me.

My swimming partner that I rely on.

My partner was completely deflated so now I have no other way of enjoying the pool. Then the kids apologized again for ruining my inner tube. Andy reassured them that this kind of stuff happens all the time so they don’t have to worry about it, but it’s good for them to apologize for what they did wrong. Andy asked me what I was going to do now. I told him that I could stand in the pool, or walk around. Suddenly I was feeling really tired so I leaned backward and the next thing I knew I was floating around the pool. Andy was surprised that I can’t swim, yet I was floating. And so smoothly, at that. He figured out that I was floating effortlessly because I don’t have a single ounce of strength in my entire body. The kids were amazed how I floated so well and asked me to teach them. Andy, the two little kids and I were floating around the pool and bumping into other swimmers. It was a relaxing day nevertheless.

  

A couple days later, we saw the same little kids that we met at the pool the other day. They called out to us and told us about the new trend that occurred in swimming class. They said that everyone started to adopt my floating style in their swimming class. Then I thought to myself, maybe I did something I shouldn’t have. I'm worried about the future of competitive swimming. Andy said, “You never know what will catch on these days.”Who knew what I did have such a big impact on those kids? Well, it was fun while it lasted.

It was fun while it lasted.

-Listless Tony