Smart Shopper

Dear Smart Shopper,

What was it that I needed to do today?

I totally forgot that I had another blog to write about today. These blogs are starting to pile up since I haven’t written any lately. Today’s question asks if there was a time where you needed to do something, but totally forgot what you needed to do when you got there. There was this one time where little brother told me to get something for the house. It must be urgent because he usually does all the shopping instead.

What could this be?

I dragged Andy along with me to the supermarket. Andy asked me if I knew what I was supposed to get. I told him that I had no idea in the slightest but I’ll probably figure it out while I’m walking around in the store. When we made it to the supermarket, I went to get a shopping cart and realized something important. Andy thought I remembered what I was supposed to get, but I had another one of my great ideas. I finally figured out why seniors love shopping carts. It’s so much easier to walk around with. Andy told me that was something I didn’t need to worry about for another 50 years or so. After my idea was rejected, Andy asked if it was a food item or not. I still couldn’t recall what I was supposed to get, but I’m sure it wasn’t something frozen. That’s because there’s a strong possibility that it’d melt or go bad because I wouldn’t make it home quick enough, so he knows not to ask for those. Also, I don’t think it is water or rice, either. It’s because I know for sure those aren’t the things he asked me to get because I don’t want to carry something as heavy as that all the way home. Even if that’s what it is, I refuse.

It starts with a “P”.

We were making some progress since we started narrowing down what that item could possibly be. As we were walking down the last aisle, my phone started vibrating. I remembered that I set an alarm to remind me what to buy. Good thinking, me from yesterday. When I checked my phone, all it said was a letter “P”. I guess I ran out of steam while writing the message. I guess I have no choice, but to use that. The one excuse that usually gets me out of trouble “they ran out”. Andy asked why can’t I just tell my little brother that I forgot. So we started looking for other things that start with a “P” like pastrami sandwich and pineapple in a can. Andy told me to think harder and don’t give up. I was too tired to think, so I’ll decide to buy everything that starts with a “P” and isn’t heavy or perishable. So I ended up getting papaya, parmesan cheese, paprika, pak chee, parsley, and pasta. Andy lends me his eco bag to carry the things I bought. As we walked out the store, we saw a pancake food truck. And we knew exactly what the “P” item was at that moment. It must be pancakes since it was the last day the truck was serving it. Then I recalled that my little brother was watching a commercial on pancakes, and I think he said he wanted some. I’m glad I got what he wanted. 

It must be pancakes.

Long story short, it wasn’t pancakes that my brother wanted me to get. It was pipe cleaner instead. So I got in trouble for buying unnecessary stuff, and on top of that, he made a Parmesan cheese pasta with papaya, pak chee, parsley, and paprika in it for dinner. Also, he wanted pancakes from the place he saw on TV, not just any pancakes. Andy sympathized with me since he knew how hard I tried. He said, “Let’s go buy pipe cleaner today after school, okay?”

Mystery solved.

-Listless Tony

Pool Boy

Dear Pool Boy,

Welcome to a new edition of “Ask Tony”. And today’s question is Tony, do you know how to swim? I know I said this before, but my advice can either be helpful or not at all. Read on with discretion. It’s still not too late to click the back button on your webpage. Okay, back to your question about the pool. I enjoy going there to cool myself off. Recently, the temperature has risen so rapidly that makes it difficult to relax at home without turning on the air conditioner.

When it’s cold, you can always put on more clothes, but when it’s hot, there’s only so much you can take off.

When it’s cold, you can always put on more clothes, but when it’s hot, there’s only so much you can take off. Therefore, the only thing you can do is go to the pool. Andy was surprised that I asked him to the pool since I never ask him to tag along with me to places. I told him that I just wanted to cool off from the summer heat. Then Andy asked if I knew how to swim because he saw me brought out a yellow, cat looking inner tube. I told Andy that I’ll be fine because I brought my partner along. Two little kids on a dolphin inner tube swam near us. Then I came up with this great idea. Maybe I can ride on top of Andy as he swims. He told me to stop coming up with silly ideas like that. When I was about to get into the pool, Andy stopped me for some stretching. Andy told me that stretching could prevent leg cramps while you're swimming. So we did some exercises to loosens our wrists and stretched out our muscles. Since I didn’t want to hurt myself again, I attempted stretching. As I was stretching, I got a cramp from moving muscles that I rarely use.

Cramps are my mortal enemies.

A couple of minutes went by, I placed my foot in the water to test out the temperature. Then I submerged my whole body into the water. It felt so nice and cool that I thought this must be what heaven feels like. I wouldn’t mind spending my whole summer drifting around like this. As I was floating on my inner tube, two little kids appeared beside me. They were making fun of me that I was older and still needed to use an inner tube.  I just agreed with them because it takes less effort to just go with the flow. The little kids completely ignored what I said and continuously shook my inner tube. I told them to stop it as commanding as my voice could muster, but they didn’t listen. Andy appeared and told them not to bully me since I can’t swim. The two little kids apologized to Andy as my partner deflated on me.

My swimming partner that I rely on.

My partner was completely deflated so now I have no other way of enjoying the pool. Then the kids apologized again for ruining my inner tube. Andy reassured them that this kind of stuff happens all the time so they don’t have to worry about it, but it’s good for them to apologize for what they did wrong. Andy asked me what I was going to do now. I told him that I could stand in the pool, or walk around. Suddenly I was feeling really tired so I leaned backward and the next thing I knew I was floating around the pool. Andy was surprised that I can’t swim, yet I was floating. And so smoothly, at that. He figured out that I was floating effortlessly because I don’t have a single ounce of strength in my entire body. The kids were amazed how I floated so well and asked me to teach them. Andy, the two little kids and I were floating around the pool and bumping into other swimmers. It was a relaxing day nevertheless.

  

A couple days later, we saw the same little kids that we met at the pool the other day. They called out to us and told us about the new trend that occurred in swimming class. They said that everyone started to adopt my floating style in their swimming class. Then I thought to myself, maybe I did something I shouldn’t have. I'm worried about the future of competitive swimming. Andy said, “You never know what will catch on these days.”Who knew what I did have such a big impact on those kids? Well, it was fun while it lasted.

It was fun while it lasted.

-Listless Tony

Rain

Dear Rain,

Why must it rain today of all days?

I have been writing a lot more blog posts lately because apparently I’m the only human being people are interested in. Give me a break and stop sending me questions by the way. So you want to know whether I prefer sunny or rainy days. Honestly, I prefer sunny days over rainy days because constant rain is depressing. At least on sunny days, I can go to my favorite shady spot and relax there compared to the lousy rainy days I’m stuck in boring classrooms filled with other students. Everyone in the classroom will chat the lunch period away which ruins my perfect chance to take a nap. I hate rainy days because of this reason. But I also hate rainy days for getting me sick as well.

There was supposed to be an eighty percent chance of rain today so I was advised by little brother to bring an umbrella with me to school. My little brother likes to be prepared for school so he watches the news to see what the weather is like for the next day. But honestly it was not even raining that hard when I left the house so I did not open it or even use it. Unfortunately for me, the rain was getting worse and worse by the second and I had considered using the umbrella but being the lazy guy I am, I thought I could make it to class without having to open the umbrella and have to go through the trouble of closing it afterwards. Boy, was I wrong. I was so drenched that I had to change into my gym outfit and let my wet clothes dry. My best friend, Andy, asked what happened so I told him that I slipped and landed in a puddle. Because I had thought the truth would be too embarrassing. But Andy was not buying my story and just told me to admit that I hated umbrellas. To which I replied with an explanation of why umbrellas are despicable because of how wet my hands get when you open or close them, how I always have to hold on to them even when they are soaking wet because there is no place to put them on the bus or muni, and how I tend to eventually lose them somewhere and consequently have to buy a new one. Oh yeah, and people seem to always mistaken my umbrella for their own!

If I have an umbrella, I can rest anywhere.

I really dug myself into a ditch this time because Andy asked me to recall a time when the umbrella was useful to me. But all I could remember was the one time I leaned on an umbrella, pointed at the ground, as a cane. It was still raining after third period so I thought it would be cool that I can evolve like early birds and fishes. I wanted to evolve so I have skin that can repel the rain so I can’t get wet. Most importantly my new skin will substitute for my need for an umbrella. But I came to the conclusion that I was being naive and that I am only human so evolution is not an option for me. Andy came out and found me standing in the rain so he told me to give the umbrella a shot. At that point, I was ready to use the umbrella because I started sneezing like crazy so I gave in for the day. But if you thought I had learned my lesson already, think again. I ended up getting to school all wet again because I just thought that I could dodge between the raindrops, like the Flash, and make it to school without getting wet in the rain but to no avail. I tried other methods of avoiding the rain without an umbrella for another few days until I finally woke up with a sore throat and cold. While the cold was bad, the lesson learned was not. You win this time Umbrella.

-Listless Tony

P.S. You win this time Umbrella.

Ghost Boy

Dear Ghost Boy,

Booooo!

These blog posts were getting out of hand especially since I was supposed to write just one blog post. Now it slowly has become two blogs. One blog post was enough work as it is, now I have to write more blog posts. Well, I'd better start writing this blog, but wouldn't it be cool if blogs wrote themselves. If only that were true then I would be better off. Okay, so you want to know what my class did for Spirit Week. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t even have Spirit Week to begin with.

Spirit Week is ranked number one on the list of school events that I rather not participate in. In comparison, my classmates couldn’t wait to start designing our classroom for Spirit Week. That’s why in order to avoid having to do any troublesome work, I’ve been training hard to hide my presence, for the past two weeks. If my highly, motivated classmates take all the work, there shouldn’t be anything left for me to do or so I thought.

Since all the roles had been decided I thought I was off the hook, but then I found out that Andy and I got the remaining roles that were unclaimed. The remaining roles were acting roles that included being a ghost, zombie or monster. While the class was debating what we should do for the haunted house, the only thing that was on my mind was, "Can I leave yet?" All this planning talk was so boring for me, but Andy reminded me that I got the easier job so I shouldn’t be complaining. "Since I know I got the easiest task, I’m beginning to think I might be able to sort of try my best," I said. My classmates then broke into groups to start working on the haunted house. Two other classmates of mine attempted to teach me how to become a proper ghost, but we all know how well that was going to turn out. We had a simulation where I tried to scare my classmate, but instead I got startled by my classmate instead. Since I wasn’t good scaring others, my other classmate thought we should dress me up as a ghost rising from the well. Neither did they know that was another bad idea because I adore being in the dark especially in close quarters where no one is around me. I drifted asleep instantly while they continue planning out the rest of the haunted house. They figured if I was going to sleep throughout the event, they might as well draw eyes on me so I could still scare people when they passed by me.

This is what our classroom looks like.

Day one of Spirit Week has arrived, I changed into my costume and sat in the well like I was told. And guess what I was doing while I was bored.  You guessed right. I fell asleep again but this time, I slept through the whole event. But lots of people told me afterward I was the scariest since I was asleep with my eyes wide open and lounging forward like I was about to attack someone. My classmates told me that Andy confessed that he was afraid of zombies so he couldn’t play the part. So we swapped Andy with our other classmate and she decided to go as a demonic cat. She  was short and people found it hard to take her seriously. So when she tried to scare people, she actually made others laugh at how cute she was instead. I guess the haunted house was a success since everyone that came out of our attraction was enjoying themselves.  Day one of Spirit Week came to a close, but I didn’t feel like I did anything at all. At the end of the day, our class threw a party to celebrate our success. I was trying my hardest to not get involve with spirit week, but in the end, I got a nice nap out of it and that is what matters. If every Spirit Week was like today’s event, then I will definitely participate more often. This is my proposal for a possible theme for Spirit Week next year. I will go with a PJ day where everyone comes to school in their PJ's. That way I have an excuse to bring my favorite pillow to sleep on during class so I won’t hurt my head or hand accidently. That would be the best day ever.

-Listless Tony

P.S. Do I look scary now?

Sweet Tooth

Dear Sweet Tooth,

 Mmmm tasty!

Today’s your lucky day because I feel motivated in writing a blog post today. Let’s see what we have here. You were asking about which fast food restaurant do I like going to. Honestly, I actually dislike going to fast food restaurants since I want to be able to sit there and take my time appreciate my food.

That sure looks good.

I usually don’t go to fast food restaurants, but I make exceptions for my friends. There was this one time where Andy heard about the limited edition Oreo McFlurry at McDonald's and was dying to try it. Andy is a sucker for sweets even though he looks so much more mature than I am. That day Andy asked if I would go with him to McDonald’s. I answered back with my reasons to why I preferred not to go. I told Andy that I dislike how my order comes out so quickly, which makes it hard to relax. And that makes me feel like I am supposed to order and move quickly, too. That's a lot of pressure on me plus they don’t really have any food I like, either. Then Andy told me that he could always go by himself. You could tell Andy was disappointed, but he kept walking further and further away from McDonald’s. Then I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the sign that caught my attention. It was an advertisement for the new kids' meal toy. It was a small vacuum toy that would become my personal cleaning assistant. I hate having to always pick up after myself. I would rather have someone else do it for me. So this toy would be perfect for me.

Once we got inside, the cashier said, “Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?”  I gave out a quick sigh because I was getting lethargic from seeing all the possible food items that they had on the menu. But in the end, I asked for the kids' meal and requested the small vacuum toy. The cashier told me that they had run out so I would have to try my luck again tomorrow. They had every other toy, but not the one that I wanted. I instantly lost my appetite so I ordered a strawberry shake instead. I got my shake and headed to where Andy was. I was excited to enjoy my drink since I wasn't able to get my toy. But just my luck, the drink was frozen solid. I tried and tried until my face turned blue, but still, nothing came out. Andy told me to wait for the drink to melt a little before I should try drinking it again. My impression of McDonald’s started to change as I started to notice that once you make your order, you can sit comfortably without worrying about others rushing you to leave. I also thought the staff was menacing at first, but they turned out to be really nice. That gave me the courage to try again to get the toy I want. I was starting to feel that McDonald and I were starting to understand each other. 

 BFF Forever!!!

On the following day, Andy wanted to try out the new M&M McFlurry so we went to McDonald’s again. We headed to our table after we received our order. Andy left something at school but he was worried about leaving me alone. In order to reassure him, I volunteered to protect his McFlurry and fries while he was gone. He still didn't feel safe leaving me alone at McDonald’s. I reassured him that nothing will happen to me. I told him that I have become one with my seat. I will not relinquish this seat to anyone, no matter what happens. Andy knew that no one will bother me once they see that I feel asleep at McDonald’s. Andy left me alone and went back to school to retrieve his book. After he came back, we enjoyed the rest of our meal and headed home afterward. When I got home my little brother asked, “What’s with the big smirk on your face?” I told him that I finally got the toy that I always wanted from McDonald's. Then he said, “No wonder, you look so happy.” I told my little brother that everyone at McDonald's is so nice and friendly. I would love to go back again to see what kind of toys, they will offer next.

-Listless Tony

P.S. I bet you want a toy like this.

Musco

Dear Mr. Musco,

Is this how you hit a birdie?

I thought I warned you guys to avoid asking me for advice. Well, whatever. So you want to learn how to play badminton and don't know where to start. I don’t know if this is going to be helpful or not, but just so you know my grade in P.E. is pretty bad. Since I’m naturally weak, I usually avoid going to P.E. when I can. And it goes against my nature to move around too much. You can say that I'm like a fish out of the water. I prefer to lay around and take naps then going out of my way to get some exercise, but today something changed my mind about P.E.  

 I was feeling a little tired today so I decided to take a little nap between periods. I had to adjust my body and hand to achieve the perfect napping condition. I achieved it once again today. I can't nap if all the requirements of the nap aren't fulfilled like the wind has to be perfect, optimal noiseless condition and perfect arm resting position. First, I tried leaning on the window. I miscalculated the distance and hit my head on the window. Today the position I chose was falling asleep in the holding up my chin position. This position is hard to keep up while trying to sleep. If I try to keep it up, my wrist gets injured. This happens often, but all I want to do is relax…. So I decided to start going to P.E. class to build up my physical strength so my hands won’t fall asleep.  I want to slack off worry free knowing that I can’t hurt myself.

Today in class our teacher told us we were going to play badminton. I paired up with my best friend Andy. We played together with my other friends who were also in my gym class. My other friends were athletes so they thought they had an edge on us, but neither did they know Andy gets very competitive when it comes to sports. Andy was able to not only return the birdie to their side but managed to fend them off just by himself. I wanted to give that a try so Andy moved back. Now it was my turn to return the birdie. I was ready to receive the birdie then the racket accidently slipped out of my hand and almost hit my other two friends. They scolded me for almost hitting them. So they just told me to sit out the rest of the game. So I just sat there on the sidelines. I wondered how great it would be if Andy work ethic would be incorporated into my grade as well since we are partners after all. I think the world should adopt this method then everyone would be happy.

When P.E. was over, they found me sound asleep on the gym floor. They felt bad for me so they didn't wake me up until later. So the lesson learned is to do your best. No, don't do your best. Just do whatever you want just like I did.

P.S. I shorten your username since it's too hard to remember. I think it actually sounds a lot cooler this way.

-Listless Tony

 

Welcome to Listless Blogging

My name is Tony…

This is nice, I can get used to this.

It’s a shame that people nowadays don’t appreciate nature like we used to. I personally enjoy the company of cute birds chirping and a nice breeze as I’m getting ready for my nap. I have this favorite spot that I always go to during lunch. It’s so peaceful and quiet there. I really dislike having to do things because I get tired easily.  If nothing happens to me for the whole day I feel blessed. One time I even tried to blackmail God so I could enjoy a peaceful and uneventful day. I still regret not blackmailing him because that peaceful day was disturbed by a surprise pop quiz. Once I got home, my top priority was lounging around on the couch. It was getting late so I needed to take my bath before I go to bed. I headed to my room first before heading off to go take a bath. I rolled around in my room for a bit to warm myself up. When I warmed up, I headed toward the bath. I stayed in my bath for almost an hour and a half since it felt the bath was so warm. Since I stayed in the bath for too long, I messed up my sleeping schedule. As of now, I only have four or five fours left before I have to leave for school. This happens to me all the time but I still don’t think that was the reason why I’m always so tired. I’m just naturally unmotivated and listless. One time during P.E. I tried to copy what my classmates were doing for our daily stretching exercises. Since I hardly use my muscles, I accidently hurt myself while stretching. I relied on my friend Andy to carry me back to class. I was in so much pain afterward that I took a couple of days off.

I totally forgot why I started this blog in the first place. The whole reason for this blog was because my little brother wanted me to meet new friends. So he suggested that I help out others online by answering their questions. I was like do you really think people would want to hear my advice. Then he said that people will take your opinions seriously if you weren't so lazy and unmotivated. I told my little brother I didn’t want to do this since it takes too much effort to do. He just said that if people asks you questions then you got to answer them back. It’s proper internet ethic to answer other people’s questions. So I beg you guys please don’t ask me any questions because I really don’t want to do this. I rather work harder to meet new friends in school than writing blog posts every day.

-Listless Tony